


Factually Incorrect Fantasies

by mm_nani



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Cheesy Football Husbands, Grandpa Joe and Grandma David, M/M, Sane is mentioned briefly, Skype Sex, because I love Sane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 19:39:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10498116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mm_nani/pseuds/mm_nani
Summary: Kun regales stories of his night of debauchery while Leo jerks off. That's it, that's the story.Also known as: one day I'll contribute something worthwhile to the fandom, meanwhile have Kunessi Skype porn.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired from the foolishness that is [this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10306187). Here is the excerpt to refresh your memory:
> 
> “Don’t be such a hypocrite Joe,” Kun says while rubbing at the bruise forming at his leg. “You two were practically begging me to liven your bedroom just months ago.”
> 
> This, for the record, is only half-true. He and David may have asked Kun for a threesome while at the height of the summer’s transfer anxiety, but there was absolutely no begging involved, thank you very much. Besides Kun turned out to be so demanding in bed with a stamina befitting of Greek gods that Joe and David found themselves exhausted, too tired to move a toe, and yet having to go for yet another round because Kun was nowhere near done."

_Leo, need to postpone by 15 minutes. Shower._

Kun sends the quick text and quickly heads to shower without waiting for an answer.

 

The expected _ok babe_ arrives and goes unnoticed as Kun is already soaping up and rinsing out last night’s debauchery at the same time, eager to get to his Skype date. He’s not worried about Leo getting mad at him, it’s just that he can’t wait to see Leo. Kun can’t wait to see Leo’s face when he finally tells him about his Friday night.

 

He runs out of the shower and conveniently forgets to put on a shirt. It’s probably going to come off anyway. He’s toweling his hair dry as he calls Leo. Leo picks up on the first ring.

 

‘Oh God. Please be wearing pants, I actually want to talk to you this time!’

 

Kun laughs, ‘I am. I swear I am.’ He lifts his hips up slightly so that the waistband of his boxers comes in frame.

 

Leo groans, ‘That doesn’t help at all.’ As though lying on his bed so unguarded, Saturday morning laziness oozing off every slow shift of his limb is helping Kun’s situation.

 

That hypocrite.

 

Kun grins cheekily snapping the waistband of his boxers. Leo groans again rubbing his stomach slowly.

 

‘It’s okay to miss me.’ Kun waits a beat. ‘I miss you too.’

 

Even after all these years it’s hard to say the things he’s feeling. But after a rocky couple of years of the long distance Kun’s learnt to push through the awkwardness.

 

‘I do. I miss you’ Leo says. It would be sweet but Leo takes off his shirt as soon as he says it, cheeky and suddenly alert.

 

Kun would laugh at his eagerness but shit he’s also sporting a semi, isn’t he?

 

Leo is sitting on the bed now, leaning back so that his crotch is just barely on screen. He unmistakably has a hand on himself, stroking softly over his sweatpants.

 

Kun thinks of relocating to his bedroom, but he’s a little too comfortable on his living room sofa. He pushes the coffee table with the laptop away from himself so more of him is in the screen too.

 

‘How was your Friday night babe?’ Leo says hands inside his pants now.

 

Kun loves that Leo just asks unprompted and _oh, this will be so good._

‘Electric’ Kun says licking his lips, ‘I was in a threesome.’

 

Leo closes his eyes and moans, ‘Yeah? Who with?’

 

Leo is taking this way too casually. It disappoints Kun a little

 

‘Silva and Hart.’ Leo keeps rubbing himself softly and Kun suspects that Leo thinks he’s just making a scenario up for the sake of dirty talk.

 

It takes a moment but Leo’s eyes fly open and he’s suddenly very close to the screen, hands on either side, steadying himself ‘You did it? You finally did it?’

 

Kun nods gleefully.

 

‘Shit. Shit. Shit.’ Leo says running a hand over his face, ‘I can’t believe you actually did it. How was it?’

 

‘Oh my God, Leo. _Leo_. He actually picked me up and fucked me against a wall.’

 

‘Who did? David is too small.’ Kun raises an eyebrow, waits for Leo to get to the answer himself, ‘Grandpa Joe? No way!’

 

‘Yep.’ Kun nods while Leo shakes his head in disbelief.

 

‘What else did you do? Tell me everything. Shit, I’m too surprised to jack off.’ Leo says a little frantic, half laughing.

 

‘Well things got so awkward after David asked a couple weeks ago that I had given up hope on it ever happening but he cornered me after practice yesterday and just went for it. Sucked me off in the showers.’

 

Leo blinks in his disbelief, ‘What even is your life?’ He’s lying back down on the bed again; Kun can see only part of his face and chest at this angle. Leo seems to be staring at the ceiling in his disbelief.

 

‘Then he took me home and Joe made _dinner._ They wined and dined me, they’re so _cute_.’

 

‘I can’t believe Joe didn’t send you home with a doggy bag.’

 

‘Ah yes, it seemed like he was planning on just sending me into a food coma. I may have licked whipped cream off his lips to get things started.’

 

Leo guffaws, face coming back on screen again, ‘Of course you did, you little shit. Scandalized him.’

 

‘Hey! _His_ boyfriend asked for a threesome. I assumed he knew he was part of it.’

 

‘The English are so weird.’ Leo says and sticks a hand down his pants again.

 

‘So weird.’ Kun agrees, ‘Anyway, I had to watch them make out for a really, _really_ long time after that. I think Joe took a while to get that it’s not cheating if his boyfriend is there.’

 

‘ _Your_ boyfriend wasn’t there.’ Leo says with a pout.

 

Kun rolls his eyes, ‘It’s not cheating if your boyfriend has been begging you to do the threesome either.’

 

Leo sticks his tongue out, ‘I’d still like some of my threesomes to actually be _with_ you, you know?’

 

‘I know, babe. Me too.’ Kun thinks of the app on his phone counting down to international break. ‘They asked about you, you know. About us. How we make it work.’

 

‘Yeah? What’d you say?’ Kun can see Leo’s hands moving slowly, the important bit disappearing at the bottom of the screen.

 

‘The truth. That we fuck around and jack off to each other’s stories on Skype together.’

 

That draws another laugh from Leo, ‘We do that, don’t we?’

 

Leo looks so fond all of a sudden that Kun can only _feel_.

 

‘I told him it’s hard.’ Kun’s words catch in his throat, ‘But that it’s harder to give up.’ He’s glad Leo can’t see how he’s stroking his screen longingly.

 

‘Shit, we aren’t doing _that_ now.’ Kun pretends like he doesn’t hear Leo’s voice crack, ‘get back to the sex stuff.’ He demands, straightening up with his crotch visible on the screen again.

 

Kun rolls his eyes, ‘Yeah, okay. So after sorting through their feelings, like a fuck ton of it, we finally end up in the bedroom. David kind of ended up in the middle. I swear Joe was trying not to touch me. But then we sucked him off together and-

 

‘Wait. Don’t just list all the sex stuff.’ Leo says rolling his eyes, ‘ _tell_ me what you did. Turn me on, babe.’ He pushes his sweats, cock jutting proudly upwards.

 

‘Right…’ Kun might be a little distracted.

 

‘Kun!’

 

‘Yes, right. David.’ Kun closes his eyes to concentrate, replays the memory in his head.

 

‘David gets Joe’s pants off finally and goes down on him. I start by kissing Joe, he’s kind of a goner with David’s mouth on him and he’s just biting at my lips all desperate, making little whimpering noises, you know. I have to hold him down, pin him to the bed so that he doesn’t choke David. That’s how out of it he was.’

 

‘You have the best lips.’ Leo says breathily and Kun has to open his eyes again to look at him. He’s just in time to see the gentle sway of Leo’s hips in time with the strokes of his hand.

 

‘I want to kiss down your chest, Leo.’ Kun says, honestly. Leo moans in response, ‘And I want to take you in my mouth, go really fucking slow. Drive you insane’

 

‘Mmf. Is that what you did last night?’ Leo asks, the sounds he makes indicative of how Kun is managing just fine in driving him insane over Skype.

 

‘Yeah, I did, I went down real slow on Joe, slowly building up to taking all of him. _Shit,_ he was big. My jaw kind of still hurts. My ass too’ Kun wants this to be for Leo. Wants this session to be about getting him off, ‘David and I took turns. Got him right to the edge before pulling back.’ His own erection is straining against his boxers and he’s not sure how long he can ignore it.

 

‘Did he fuck your mouth?’

 

‘Not as good as you.’

 

‘Shit.’ Leo says for the hundredth time that day and breathes deeply, ‘I’m already so hard. I don’t think I can last till the wall fucking.’ He looks so wrecked through the screen that Kun thinks he can come just by looking at him like this, untouched.

 

‘I’ll skip forward. Just. Slow down. Run your hands down your chest, sweetheart.’ Leo stops masturbating suddenly, hips still thrusting into the air, chasing the ghost touch. Kun loves that Leo doesn’t have to think. Leo just does what he’s told, pinching his nipples, knows how much Kun loves playing with them, ‘ _Fuck_. You’re doing so well, babe. You’re so good for me.’ Leo’s stomach tightens in response to Kun’s praises. Kun knows a thing or two about what turns Leo on as well.

 

‘I fucked David first. Joe kissed him all through it you know, slowly jacking him off. Hands across your thighs’

 

‘How was he?’ Leo says, doesn’t miss a beat as he follows Kun’s instructions. Hands running across his thighs before curling inwards.

 

‘Oh he was good, tight- _don’t_ touch yourself- kind of bossy, pushed me down and rode me out.’

 

Leo manages to chuckle through his haze, ‘Just like me then.’

 

‘No one’s like you.’ Kun says simply. It’s an easy truth.

Kun can see the shiver that wracks through Leo’s body before he’s coming, jerking into his hand, ‘Fuck you.’ Leo curses, blaming Kun for taking advantage of his own weakness for sweet words and Kun’s love, ‘you did that on purpose.’

 

Kun blows him a kiss, ‘I wanted to see you come, babe.’ Leo’s blush intensifies.

 

‘You didn’t come!’ Suddenly realizing.

 

Kun smirks, ‘I did. Twice, last night. Once, this morning.’

 

‘This morning!?!! That’s why you were late?’ Disbelief in every word.

 

Kun only grins, ‘so tell me about your week.’

 

‘Please, tell me. Please?’ Leo begs

 

‘Oh you’ll find out everything. Every time I want to see you come.’ Kun may or may not be a little drunk on power, ‘But you’re the one who wanted to talk. So let’s talk.’

 

‘Fine. But I’m still jerking off to a factually incorrect version of Joe fucking you against a wall tonight.’

 

'I think we're going to sign that cute German kid.' Kun says, powering through a pouting Leo.

 

Leo clicks his tongue at him, 'Planning future escapades, already?'

 

'No escapades! He's a baby, maybe sixteen or seventeen.' Kun pauses scratching the back of his head, 'Well, is it an overkill to plan three years ahead?'

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [the site of doom](http://nande-daiyo.tumblr.com/)


End file.
